What Kids Do

I couldn’t help it. I saw this book on Anne’s desk last night and I had to pick it up. Mary Engelbreit holds the same weird fascination for me as Martha Stewart, and her involvement in this book is total and complete. It’s a simple little book featuring Mary’s illustrations and short, sweet and sometimes trite sentences to describe what kids do. Of course, the illustrations are the key, not the simple text. And maybe that’s why there’s no author listed. I can totally imagine Mary’s promotions team sitting around a table looking at leftover illustrations from one of her other wildly popular publications and saying, “You know, we really must do something with these darling illustrations. How about a book of cute little sayings about kids? And we can sell it for 10 BUCKS!”

Some of the things kids do in Mary’s world?

  • Like reading a favorite book over and over again.
  • Seldom clean their rooms.
  • Give the best hugs.
  • Watch the same movies over and over again.
  • Show off.
  • Spoil their dinner.

Some of the things kids do in *my* world?

  • Spray their brother’s deodorant on to the bathroom mirror at close range and ruin the finish on the mirror.
  • Chew an entire pack of Bubblicious bubble gum…all at once.
  • Maintain hidden stashes of candy throughout the house, thereby attracting every damn ant within a hundred miles.
  • Wear the same pair of socks for a week because the others in the dresser suddenly became invisible.
  • Enjoy spraying me with the hose every chance they get.

I can only dream of the perfection of life in a Mary or Martha world, but I can’t help but suspect that life would be awfully boring. I’ll take wet-hugs-right-out-of-the-bath and ice-cubes-down-my-back any day.